Most Single people tend to have their own list of Must-Haves when it comes to choosing a life partner. Your choice is very much an individual thing. What will make a fantastic spouse for one person is not what is going to secure you a life time of marital bliss. In fact, your friend’s checklist list of ideals for their ‘perfect’ spouse may cause you a life time of misery! So, it’s best for you to consider what YOU want from your potential husband or wife.
But aren’t there some standard criteria that should be on EVERY Christian single person’s checklist? Single-hood & Marriage Counsellor Dorike Adesunloye gives 5 points that should feature on every single Christian person’s ‘Potential Husband/Wife Checklist’:
Check 1: Must be a Christian!
We’re not talking ‘Pew-Warming’, ‘Goes-to-Church-When-They-Feel-Like’, ‘A-Christian-on-Sunday’s-Only’ – kind of Christian. We’re talking committed, loving the Lord and seeking for spiritual growth. Their spiritual level is less of a concern than their desire to grow.
Check 2: Have Good Work Ethics
Please note the point is not ‘Must Have a Job!’ Life can throw many curve balls and your potential spouse could be out of work for a number of reasons. What you are looking for is someone who has a level of ambition, is active and exhibits a desire and ability to work and stay relevant.
Check 3: Can Communicate Effectively
This one is simple. If you guys can’t talk and communicate effectively, there is no relationship. Does the person you are considering to spend the rest of your life with listen to you? Are they able to talk to you in a manner that is respectful, open and considerate? If you don’t click in the communication level, you will not click on any other level.
Check 4: R.E. S. P.E. C. T
Respect is critical in every relationship. Don’t be fooled by thinking that your potential husband or wife is going to respect you when you in your marriage when he or she doesn’t show the ability to respect people, organisations and authorities in his life now. Look at how they treat their parents, siblings, leaders in the church and friends to gauge whether RESPECT is a word they respect!
Check 5: Are they Accountable?
If you marry someone who is a law unto themselves, when the storms arrive in your marriage (which they certainly will) they will not be willing seek advice and guidance from a leader or someone with a level of authority in their lives. This then leaves you with a spouse who no-one can speak to or guide. This links very closely with the respect check point, but we decided it needed a ‘Check’ all of its own!
If you want to know more about how to glorify God in your single-hood, how to prepare for marriage and how to experience a Godly courtship then you should attend the Starbright Single Seminar